My obligations stop here

End of the line, everybody off!

My obligation to post here as part of my honours coursework ends with this post, but I intend keep it updated as my thesis progresses until completion. There seems to be some interest in what I'm doing as over 1000 people have visited this humble place so far. Admittedly, that could just be my Mum. Thanks for the view-count, Mum.

Lately, things have been more (or less) looking up for my thesis. Over 15 hours and 10 interviews later, I generated around 20,000 words of delicious, pregnant research data. From that, I popped out 5,000 or so 'best of' bits. Now, in the timeline of my thesis, I am way ahead of schedule. I think online interviewing (synchronous text-based chatting via an ICT in regards to my thesis) has been great. I spend so much time online (so bitterly lonely) and it worked out that I could just fit my interviews in around the clock.

Obviously, this process isn't for everyone. Some people enjoy things like fresh air, sunshine, and what have you. But I feel like as an emergent method for qualitative research, it has a lot to offer. I hope that, with regards to my research at least, that it proves as effective as it was efficient.

So, what am I started to find, in regards to my research? I can't go into too much depth (mostly because I've not truly begun unpacking everything, organising it thematically etc). At this stage, I think I have ample grounds to not only sufficiently answer my research question, but in the process challenge Giddens and Bauman on their positions on modern intimacy. Bold stuff! You'll have to stay-tuned to the blog if you expect to find out anything more. As if you didn't see that coming! Ha! Ok, fine. Here's two terms that might mean something/nothing to you: homogeneity and micro-celebrity. Mystery! Intrigue! I'm reading some stuff by Senft and Marwick at the moment which I find particularly interesting.

What have I learned from the weekly workshop/class meetings? Well, I learned how lucky I am that I enrolled mid-year and was exposed to the structure and coursework in SOC470. It apparently makes a big difference, as it's greatly beneficial to talk about what a thesis needs from the perspective of your own discipline or what makes a good ____ chapter in an honours thesis before you start writing in any great length. The students who started earlier than me and had to go through ARTS470 had their time wasted, apparently.

I'll wrap up with the obligatory gif. To getting through the first half of my honours year without exploding in complete rage, and my supervisors telling me to take a two week break, presumably because I'm a BOSS.

References:

Marwick A E 2011, 'I tweet honestly, I tweet passionately: Twitter users, context collapse, and the imagined audience', in New Media & Society, vol. 13, no. 01, pp. 114-133.

Salmons, J 2012, Cases in Online Interview Research, Sage, London, UK.

Senft, T M 2008, Camgirls: celebrity & community in the age of social networks, Peter Lang, NY, USA.

Lessons learned in online research

Ok so a few astute readers out there might realise that I've deleted the previous blog post. I thought that since some things had changed since then it made sense to approach things from a calmer, more rational frame of mind.

So, through the week my research encountered a snag. I won't go into a huge amount of detail, but sufficed to say an individual in a gatekeeping position declined to assist me in my recruitment from the online community he adminstrates. When I realised this denial may have come from a position of laziness, ignorance or apathy, I made the error of trying to get the individual to see the objectivity of my research. I learned a really valuable lesson as a researcher that day. No matter how important I think the research is, to myself or my field, if an individual or community or individual in authority over a community is not interested, there is nothing you can ethically do except walk away. Unfortunately, I was inexperienced, it was late (think like 4AM), and my calm, collected rationality dissipated. The exchange never became abusive, but it became apparent that I should have let it lie from the start. Very embarrassing for me. But I've taken something away from it, at least.

Luckily for me, I knew some individuals in the community, and through snowball sampling was able to reach my research quota for the case study. I now have 8 of 10 interviews completed, with the final two to happen before the end of the week, meaning all my interviews will be conducted and transcribed way ahead of schedule. My only concern is that I have asked the wrong questions, or not asked enough questions, or my participants haven't said enough. Time will tell! But I have definitely noticed some recurrent themes in their responses, which is good. Not entirely what I had anticipated either. It seems that using tumblr dating blogs for sexual intimacy is not the dominant objective. Based on my respondents, it seems that tumblr is positioned uniquely in the SNS arena so that its users can create intimate (see: supportive, non-judgemental) spaces where homogeneous interactions can occur. Of course, if a deeply intimate relationship can develop from these places, then it is welcomed. But the main thing is that marginalised people (sexuality, body type) have found a place which they can make their own spaces and interact with others like them - without having to resort to commercial, marketised alternatives to do so.

Of course these are only cursory findings as yet, the real statements will be laid out over the coming weeks. But I am excited to get stuck in to writing the next chapters of my thesis!

"Imposter Syndrome"; Recruiting Research Participants

So this week's post will be split in two, as there's a lot on my mind at present. As you can see in the above image, one of this week's themes is "imposter syndrome". You wouldn't believe how many blogs there are out there mentioning this (and hey-presto, I've added to that mess). It might interest you to know that imposter-syndrome is quite common in areas where one's work is routinely critiqued by peers. Sound familiar? It should - that's academia and postgraduate study, baby!

This methodology chapter has been doing my head in. I think I severely underestimated how much knowledge I would have to acquire. I barely understand standpoint epistemology (I mean, I get the basic gist, but c'mon), and yet I'm writing about it like I know it well. I think that's where the imposter part comes in.

I'm at times plagued by this overwhelming anxiety that I don't belong here, I don't have the intelligence or capacity to be an honours student, let alone be one of the dreaded PhD students. I feel like fortune and luck has got me this far, and at some point someone will notice that I know nothing. I know that's stupid to say, of course I have the ability, why would people agree to supervise me if they didn't think I was capable, etc.

It doesn't change the fact that I feel like I barely even understand my project at times. On several occasions, I have left my supervisor meetings convinced that my research question or aim has changed somewhat. Add to that, that I'm writing about a methodology that only vaguely seems to make sense to me (the theoretical framework of my methodology has nothing to do with the major theory which comprised my literature review), and yeah - bummer town, dude.

I'm sure I'll get over it. This all sounds vaguely like my week 2 posting, where I emo'd up a storm there, too. I know it's hard for most of the peers in my group to relate entirely as they're at the culmination of their projects now. For them, they mostly know what it is they've synthesised. At this stage, I'm struggling to recruit people for my research - tumblr is strange in the way it operates. Unlike Facebook, direct contact is not so easy. I'm also faced with the challenge that these are communities that quite possibly do not take kindly to outsiders. Now there's some stress - what if I can't find enough recruits? How long will it delay my overall timeline? Ugh...

This gif pretty much sums up my recruitment process so far:

Reflection

It's been several weeks since I officially started this honours thesis, so I thought now would be a good time to reflect on where I've come from, and where I'm headed. Admittedly, finding topics to write about is a chore, considering the amount of writing that is done in a thesis, but that is neither here nor there.

I started this thesis off thinking I was just going to talk about a new and interesting intimate practice. Tumblr, as an SNS, has received scant empirical attention to date, and I saw an opportunity to add to the pool of knowledge. It's interesting to note, at least to me, that this basic idea has of course changed since. I say 'of course', because anyone who has done an honours thesis before will tell you that what you intend to start off with is never what you end up with.

I admit, that my supervisors have influenced the direction I have taken so far. I have trusted in their knowledge and foresight, but there are times when I wonder, as I am sure you may have too, if is possible to sacrifice too much of your own desires or interests in the 'process' or 'game' that is academic supervision. I have an idea brewing in my brain-meat at the moment, that I have as yet to discuss with my supervisors, though I will get the opportunity this week. I don't want to jinx or hype anything, but if I am right, I may have discovered a new line or way of conceptualising intimacy, at least online intimacy.

Speaking of, have you ever had a research idea, and searched for something, and found nothing? Does this mean that you really could have a new idea? There have been a few occasions now when I've searched for literature arguing a certain angle, and found nothing. Of course, it's more likely that my searching-method needs refining, but it's interesting to think about. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence (which I am sure will improve over time), but surely a lowly postgrad student is unlikely to develop something definitive?

I also wonder who reads this blog. So far, several hundred people have read what meagre offerings I have presented (this could be largely due to my parents visiting often, keeping abreast of my activity). I am of course hesitant to make too many claims or divulge too much information at this stage (mostly because what I have still seems formative, but also because I worry that what I have brewing might in fact be new, and interesting - and I don't want someone to take away from my hard work). Are these the thoughts of a paranoid mind? I hope not! I wonder if these concerns could be termed "First world postgrad problems"....

As usual, here's an image from google to conclude.