It's been several weeks since I officially started this honours thesis, so I thought now would be a good time to reflect on where I've come from, and where I'm headed. Admittedly, finding topics to write about is a chore, considering the amount of writing that is done in a thesis, but that is neither here nor there.
I started this thesis off thinking I was just going to talk about a new and interesting intimate practice. Tumblr, as an SNS, has received scant empirical attention to date, and I saw an opportunity to add to the pool of knowledge. It's interesting to note, at least to me, that this basic idea has of course changed since. I say 'of course', because anyone who has done an honours thesis before will tell you that what you intend to start off with is never what you end up with.
I admit, that my supervisors have influenced the direction I have taken so far. I have trusted in their knowledge and foresight, but there are times when I wonder, as I am sure you may have too, if is possible to sacrifice too much of your own desires or interests in the 'process' or 'game' that is academic supervision. I have an idea brewing in my brain-meat at the moment, that I have as yet to discuss with my supervisors, though I will get the opportunity this week. I don't want to jinx or hype anything, but if I am right, I may have discovered a new line or way of conceptualising intimacy, at least online intimacy.
Speaking of, have you ever had a research idea, and searched for something, and found nothing? Does this mean that you really could have a new idea? There have been a few occasions now when I've searched for literature arguing a certain angle, and found nothing. Of course, it's more likely that my searching-method needs refining, but it's interesting to think about. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence (which I am sure will improve over time), but surely a lowly postgrad student is unlikely to develop something definitive?
I also wonder who reads this blog. So far, several hundred people have read what meagre offerings I have presented (this could be largely due to my parents visiting often, keeping abreast of my activity). I am of course hesitant to make too many claims or divulge too much information at this stage (mostly because what I have still seems formative, but also because I worry that what I have brewing might in fact be new, and interesting - and I don't want someone to take away from my hard work). Are these the thoughts of a paranoid mind? I hope not! I wonder if these concerns could be termed "First world postgrad problems"....
As usual, here's an image from google to conclude.
I started this thesis off thinking I was just going to talk about a new and interesting intimate practice. Tumblr, as an SNS, has received scant empirical attention to date, and I saw an opportunity to add to the pool of knowledge. It's interesting to note, at least to me, that this basic idea has of course changed since. I say 'of course', because anyone who has done an honours thesis before will tell you that what you intend to start off with is never what you end up with.
I admit, that my supervisors have influenced the direction I have taken so far. I have trusted in their knowledge and foresight, but there are times when I wonder, as I am sure you may have too, if is possible to sacrifice too much of your own desires or interests in the 'process' or 'game' that is academic supervision. I have an idea brewing in my brain-meat at the moment, that I have as yet to discuss with my supervisors, though I will get the opportunity this week. I don't want to jinx or hype anything, but if I am right, I may have discovered a new line or way of conceptualising intimacy, at least online intimacy.
Speaking of, have you ever had a research idea, and searched for something, and found nothing? Does this mean that you really could have a new idea? There have been a few occasions now when I've searched for literature arguing a certain angle, and found nothing. Of course, it's more likely that my searching-method needs refining, but it's interesting to think about. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence (which I am sure will improve over time), but surely a lowly postgrad student is unlikely to develop something definitive?
I also wonder who reads this blog. So far, several hundred people have read what meagre offerings I have presented (this could be largely due to my parents visiting often, keeping abreast of my activity). I am of course hesitant to make too many claims or divulge too much information at this stage (mostly because what I have still seems formative, but also because I worry that what I have brewing might in fact be new, and interesting - and I don't want someone to take away from my hard work). Are these the thoughts of a paranoid mind? I hope not! I wonder if these concerns could be termed "First world postgrad problems"....
As usual, here's an image from google to conclude.
Matt I was smiling a lot to myself whilst reading this latest post of yours. I can relate to your wonderings. Lately I have been thinking if i do go on to do a phd what would I do it on? And i get going on an idea and then that idea becomes a whole new theory that no one before me has ever uttered. And then I don't tell ANYONE. because I'm scared that someone that knows far more than i do will go - 'ah yeah joy so and so did that years ago and it was bullshit. absolute and utter crap.' So i keep quiet, secretly excited about my self-proclaimed genius status. Or if I really can't help myself I just share my ideas with people that I am sure know less than I do about the area - like Pete ...or my two year old. And we all sit together and get excited about Joy the genius. Anyway enjoy your last few days a Matt's-a-genius and who knows - you might just be onto something.
ReplyDeleteHi Joy,
ReplyDeleteYour post was sweet! Wouldn't you extend your honours thesis into your phd? That's what my supervisors told me - to treat this not as a 1 year and 3 year stint but a 4 year program, where the honours thesis grows into an 80,000 word behemoth, and you become the expert in that area. People in a pacific nation somewhere erect a 50 ft statue of you, and you become their God, or something.
I'm glad to know the paranoia isn't an exclusively "Matt" thing! I think that what I have is just too good to be true, and come Thursday my supe's will give me a dose of reality. I love that when you can't contain yourself you spill your beans to your partner and child, that's so adorable. We can be geniuses together!
Matt
I'll join the chorus here re: being uncertain how much information and depth to divulge on the blog but then blogs have been an unexpectedly rich source for my research. By tracking through the breadcrumb trails of the blogosphere, I've been able to trace my genre. This is something so far as I can determine hasn't been formally done before so I'm grateful for the online resources out there. I suppose that there are ways of looking at this kind of research. There's a certain frisson in privately finding a new idea/ direction that hasn't been tried before but then some of the most exciting research is going on where there is robust discussion and sharing. It's the familiar anxiety of not being established yet, which I suppose the PhD is the first step toward, and not having a sense of security in the field.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, when I was working out the blogger dashboard and going through traffic sources to my page I found several hits from Russia and this is a good one for Joy actually- I clicked on the referring website and it was decidedly pornographic. I don't even want to know what their interest in old women might be...